You know those web sites that wait two seconds after you visit, then shade the whole page and put up some question — usually “sign up here for all this great content!” — before you’ve decided if the content is any good? Or ones that ask you to do a survey on how well they’ve satisifed your needs, before they’ve satisifed your needs?

They always make me think of a two-year old yanking on Mummy’s sleeve, saying Mummy? Mummy?? Mummy! Mummy!! MUMMY!!! — No manners at all, no consideration for what I want to do with my time, no consideration for whether this is an appropriate time to ask for a favour. Ugh.

While we’re at it: those sites that fade the print colour to 60% using the alpha channel or any other method are also annoying. I find myself straining to see them. It is so bad, I have to use the inspect tools to change the alpha, so I can comfortably read the page. In bad lighting conditions, I have to do that to be able to read the page at all. And of course, since I’m not a web ninja, I have to do it every time I reload. Ugh.

And those sites that make you scroll, and scroll, and scroll, and show you one factoid per screenful — sometimes NO factoids per screenful — I feel like I’m being starved for information, and forced to view one (or multiple) ads per factoid. Oh wait, that’s because that _is_ what’s happening. Ugh.

I find those huge, simple one-colour graphics that look like someone just learned how to use paint and didn’t learn gradients yet truly annoying. Ok, a simple graphic is understandable, but don’t fill the whole page with one of these content-free useless graphics and make me waste my energy (and more to the point my time) scrolling past it. They are catering to the crowd that scrolls _before_ they start reading. Is that a good thing? (Obviously, I think not.) Ugh.

And the sites with animated “chat live!” or other gizmos that dance around before you’ve had a chance to look for yourself - ugh.

Sadly, all these graphic designers have thrown out all the studies that have previously been done on what is readable, and what is not off-putting, because the studies are “old” and “don’t apply any more”. If “it’s old” was a good reason, we wouldn’t be using math any more and art museums and symphonies would be out of business. Ugh.

I would be happy to avoid those sites, but the internet is pretty much full of them now. Or rather, the search engines only return them. : -( Is there any place where I can see a list of private, non-commercial hobby sites? Or search them, with none of these commercial sites in the results? Ideally without third-party analytics stuck in. You know, like mine. I’d much rather see ugly styling with lots of info than so-called beautiful styling (although not beautiful in my eyes) of scant content.

Oh, and “get off my lawn!” Grump.

I’m eagerly awaiting the time when all those things go the way of the “blink” tag. Can’t happen soon enough.

Update: Why would you prefer plain non-analytic-infested web pages? It’s _amazing_ how much faster they are …